What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Randomize
