I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
