Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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