So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
