There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
