I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
