nutella sex= disaster
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
