I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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