They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
