Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
