just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
