wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
