Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize