Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
