whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
