i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
nutella sex= disaster
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
