Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
