Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
