Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Still dying that you shit outside
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
