So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
