bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
