i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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