You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
