Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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