i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
