the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
