My pussy is not your playground.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
