My entire life is one complicated drinking game
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
