fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
