What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
