Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
