So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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