yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Randomize
