New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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