We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
