forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
