just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
