I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
