just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
