What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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