but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Life is so much better after having sex.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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