Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
