it wasn't lemon gatorade
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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