Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
