Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
