I will die if light touches me.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
