umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
