Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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