she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She announced her abortion via fbk
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
