therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
