Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
