So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
