i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
