Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
