Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize