Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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