just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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