i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
