I wanna passion pit in your ass
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
