haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
