I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
