I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My cat gives me a boner
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
